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Candy Rules

1 Nov

Last year I got tons of candy and there were two kids who lived next door that came by. TWO. Sadly, our little rental is just not the happening spot for the kiddos.

But I have been so excited about the fact that our new neighborhood is one where all the families bring their kids to trick or treat. They line up down the block and there are tons of kids. I bought bags and bags of candy a few weeks ago in anticipation.

And I was not disappointed! I saw a baby dressed a at ketchup packet, a little chicken, a pumpkin and lots of fairies.They were ADORABLE!

But then around 8:00 it started to get ridiculous. I feel strongly that there should be a Halloween Trick or Treating age limit. If you are old enough to get a job then go buy your own candy and hang out with your buddies. Don’t trample over all the adorable children who can’t figure out if they should yell “Thank you” or “Trick or Treat” first.

There was a kid who must have been about 17 who just had on a backwards baseball cap and opened his backpack for me to put a candy in.  At least get your pillow case you slacker!

Then a couple of hoochies came to the door in their crop tops and push up bras dressed as a skanky baseball player and something along the line of “slutty friend.”

Don’t get me wrong, I know I spent a few  Halloweens in a push up bra but I went to parties. With people my age. I did not go door to door trampling over children to get a miniature Milky Way.

And FYI – wearing a mask does not hide the fact that your voice has already changed and you are six feet tall.

And to the Dad to who wore a mask and hunched down and tried to blend in with his children – your old man dad walking trainers gave you away.

My only consolation is that I gave the people that looked too old the three pack of whoppers instead of the Snickers or Reeses and I gave the little kids handfuls of the good stuff. So there!

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